he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
