So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
