I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize