i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize