we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
worst night to have a conscience
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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