I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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