he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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