perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
