I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
