I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
