Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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