Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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