apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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