hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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