When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
