Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I FOUND THE LEGS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
