we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
