He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
