my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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