I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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