Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I miss vodka workout Fridays
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
