windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
