i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
