Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
