This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
