Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
