I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
