This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
