Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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