Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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