Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this beer tastes like vomit already
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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