i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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