So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
