oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
