I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
