i may or may not be watching the land before time
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
