Kareoke will never be a sober sport
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
