Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize