I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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