4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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