you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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