He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
