sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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