That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
