I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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