i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
