I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
