I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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