as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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