how can u be prego again
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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