i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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