Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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