see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My hand turned me down
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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