I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
