i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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