West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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