she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
