he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
