Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
