i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
