i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
