Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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