She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
